


Love Spells

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 14:15:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/639722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Previously posted on LJ and Fanficition.net...Sam hears something he doesn't quite want to hear...well a lot of things he doesn't quite want to hear. It leads to a conversation he never thought he would have to have with his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Spells

**Author's Note:**

> I wish this had turned out better, but...meh.

Sam is about to open the door to the shitty motel room when he hears something he would rather not hear. It sounds like Dean, and his voice is open and raw and more vulnerable than he would like to believe Dean is capable of being. He doesn't know for sure who Dean is talking to, but he has a good guess. He's seen this voice in the light of Dean's eyes as he looks at Castiel, but he ignores it. It would only cause problems if something were to come of that look. So he chooses to ignore and not push it. He knows Dean is too dense, or he thinks.

He doesn't have anything against Dean's bisexuality, he really doesn't. It could be any other man, as long as that man were human. Maybe if Castiel were anything but an angel, Sam thinks, but he's not. And there's no use thinking of alternative realities. Castiel is an angel and that had to mean something. Sam doesn't want to think it, but Dean's relationships tend to end poorly, the people end up worse off, and they need Castiel there. If Dean were to wreck something with him, Cas could be lost to them forever. And there just had to be heavenly repercussions for an angel consorting with a human.

"I am not the man you come home to," Dean says, "I'm only good for being the man that takes your thoughts away from something for one night. I don't...I don't cause good thoughts outside of 'last night was fun'. I'm no good for families, on relationships, and I'm not good at this kind of thing. I ruin everyone I love." This is the most open Sam has heard Dean being in quite a while, and now he is sure Cas is in there with him. The broken, hollow voice that is fighting its way out of Dean's throat is something that he has only heard on a few, rare occasions. He can hear the tears now, wonders how long Dean has been holding this in, starts to feel guilty about listening in.

"Dean," He hears Cas begin, low voice lower, gravelly and hoarse; it sounds like it has been in use for a while, "You are worth so much more than you think. You are worth so much more than you believe."

Dean snorts, says something low and muffled that Sam cannot hear, as if his mouth is obscured by fabric. "That is not going to help me prove your worth is more than sex." There is more mumbling, "Yes, Dean, I know you like it when I "fuck you into the mattress" as you say."

This is...more information than Sam would ever like to know about his brother's sex life. I mean, sure, he'd walked in on him and a few women before, and it isn't like he doesn't know about the men, but to hear it so blatantly that his brother is...well, taking it from Cas, Cas of all people, is a little much for him to bear.

And without his permission, his hand reaches towards the doorknob, and turns the key; he removes the barrier between himself and the apparent lovers. Dean's face is buried in Cas' coat over his shoulder, and the angel has his hands on the elder brother's hips, keeping him steady. They are close, bodies touching all the way down to their feet. Granted, they always stood close, often touching, but never entangled like they were currently; usually they took a small comfort in the brush of their arms, or a strong grip on the shoulder. This need for comfort was a little more extreme, and even at the intrusion, they did not separate. Dean's eyes meet his brother's eyes and dare him to say anything.

Dean is not ashamed. Dean is not hiding anything.

"Dean, can I talk to you outside, please?" Sam says, and his brother obliges his, withdrawing from the angel's arms and placing a lingering kiss on his lips that feels so intimate Sam has too look away. Standing a good distance from the motel room door, Dean crosses his arms and gives Sam a seething look. "Cas isn't human, Dean. I thought you of all people would understand that."

"Oh, no beating around the bush, here, is there? You're such a hypocrite, Sam. Madison, Ruby, Amy? You just loved the monster chicks, but now I have Cas and you just want to take him away from me."

'So, you don't see how you're being a hypocrite here? Mr. "No monsters, they are all bad" suddenly wants to hook up with one?"

"Cas is not a monster."

"He's sure acted like one in the past."

"IN THE PAST, SAM! And it's not how you think it is."

"So you haven't been secretly screwing Castiel?"

"Not quite, Sam. You know what? I don't want to talk about this right now."

Dean moves to cross the parking lot and reenter the motel room, but Sam catches his arm.

"I'm just concerned about you, Dean."

"No, no you're not. If you were, you would stay out of it, because it's actually none of your business."

"There has to be some sort of problem! Cas is an angel, Dean. Heaven has to have a problem with Angels consorting with humans."

"Actually, they don't, "Dean says, "That was one of my concerns, too, in the beginning. You think we haven't talked about it? God doesn't give a shit, and anyone who cared is gone. It's all free will now. Have you ever even met Balthazar?"

"He's going to live longer than you, Dean."

'Dude, we both know that I have a," He pauses, and it looks as if he is fighting back tears, "a tendency to fuck everything up. But if not, I'm likely not going to live long. And when I die...dude's got full access to Heaven." Sam stares at him, "How...Dean, how long have you been thinking about this? I mean, it's not really like you to plan your future with someone."

Dean smiles softly, his eyes lighting up, almost distant, "Cas never was just anyone." He turns to leave, and this time, Sam doesn't stop him.

It's the perfect ending, Sam thinks, that they get over it and Cas and Dean live happily forever after. But that isn't the ending, and he knows it. It just feels like one.

They are sitting in a diner, and it has been a month since the big argument. Dean has been so comfortable being openly romantic with Cas that Sam finds himself wondering why they were hiding it. If Dean is comfortable enough to kiss his boyfriend-angel-lover-whatever in the deep south, why hide it from Sam? So he waits until their strangely unDean-like affection has ended and Cas has left to attend to some business. Dean's getting comfortable with the Magic Fingers when Sam confronts him.

"Are you under a spell?" He asks.

"Dude, what are you talking about?" Dean says.

"You, with Cas, acting like some sappy newlyweds. It's not like you, Dean."

"Maybe that's because I'm happier than I've been in years, Sam. And I'm happy with Cas. And I'm letting down my guard and acting like it. Me being in-in a relationship with him doesn't have to mean I've been hit with some freaky mojo."

"Then why didn't you tell me? You knew I wouldn't judge you for him being male."

"Yeah, but I knew you'd judge me for him being supernatural." Dean levels with him, their eyes meeting in a challenge. The Magic Fingers ended near the beginning of their conversation, but Dean didn't move to change that.

"I just don't know if it's worth it, Dean. We need him here and if-"

"If what, Sam? If I fuck this up like everything else? If I can't do it? If I ruin him? Let him down like everything else I love?"

"You," Sam says, "-you...Dean?" Sam has never seen Dean in love with anyone, not even Lisa. He knows Lisa was kind of his fault, he made his brother go after he when what he really wanted was blue eyes, dark hair, and stubble. He figured that Dean had some sort of feelings for Cas beyond lust, and he knew they were stronger than anything he'd seen him feel for anyone else. But if it's love, how can he stand in the way?

"Fuck." Dean says, face in his hands, "I...didn't mean to say that. Fuck." This fight is over, Sam senses and moves closer to Dean, sitting next to him on the cheap motel bed.

"Dean, if you love Cas...I guess I'm not stopping you."

The "chick-flick" moment is over. Or so Sam thinks, until an hour later, Dean mutters, "I haven't told him."

"Then tell him."

"I don't-He-" The "I don't deserve him." and the "He's worth so much more than me." are unspoken but there.

"Dean, that line of thinking is the most surefire way to ruin what you have with him. He loves you, that much is clear."

And then the moment is over and they spend the rest of the night in respective silence. The next morning they pretend that none of it ever happened; they drive to the next town chatting as always. When they pull into the motel, Dean gets two rooms. He grins, saying that he and Cas are going to need all night for the "I love you" sex. Sam tells him it's called love-making and Dean makes a face and calls him gay. Sam just laughs and reminds him which one of them was about to seduce an angel wearing a male vessel. He's glad they're back to normal.

Well, almost normal, Sam thinks as he slips into his own room at the first sight of Castiel. He assumes that all goes well, because he does not get a wink of sleep all night.


End file.
